When you tell people how old you are from this point onwards they will say you look half your age. As your friend, It is my responsibility to tell you the truth – you aren’t getting any younger, Happy 40th. Celebratory 50th Birthday Messages to Remember Life can be so boring at times, which is why I’m glad you’re here to be bored with me. Happy birthday!

Happy 60th Bro. Now you’re 60 you’re going to start weeing at random, forgetting where you left your keys, groaning after every minor limb movement and finding bits of food wedged in your nose hair. Fun times ahead. You might be older, wrinklier, slowing down, losing your memory and forgetting your youth, but look on the bright side… (don’t ask me what the bright side is). Happy 60th. You’re one year older than Doctor Who, an ancient decades old alien who’s been around longer than the whole of humanity. That’s got to be depressing.

Birthday Quotes

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.” – Oscar Wilde Happy 18th Birthday! Now you’re an adult you can do everything legally you were doing illegally since you were a kid. I was going to get you some anti-aging cream but there’s not enough of it in the world to fix that wrinkled old mug. We hope that on this special day you take a well-deserved break for some fun or relaxation… or both!

If you don’t do wild things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old. Happy 18th Birthday! Is it time to celebrate that special someone in your life getting a little bit older and wiser? Whether it’s birthday card messages for your wife, or you’re a little unsure of what to write in a birthday card for your boyfriend, we’ve thought of some corkers for you to use: decades, 18,250 days, 438,000 hours. Big numbers! I think that deserves an even bigger celebration! Best Birthday Messages for a 60th Celebration As Stevie Wonder once sang, “Happy Birthday to ya… Happy Birthday to ya… Happy Biiiirthday” – you get the gist. Have a smashing day! It’s not a good birthday until you’ve got the alcohol sweats, vomited at least three times, and passed out in some poor stranger's crotch.

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Finally, it’s time for one of those rare days when the kids aren’t around. Let’s indulge in an extravagant meal and catch up on sleep! Time to celebrate your birthday the same way you came into this world, naked, screaming, and with a vagina wrapped around your head. I hope everyone spoils you as much as you do us all year round. Happy Birthday, Dad. Never change! We love you.